Ramdom Thoughts

My youngest sister wrote me a long mail via facebook telling me about what she thinks when she read about our adoption plans. She offered her mobile services 24-7 to me and I was really touched. She was telling me that we're still both young and should continue trying to have our own. She was concerned about what others may think, the questions asked by relatives, etc... What if the biological mother comes knocking and wants her child back? What if we eventually have our own biological children? What if the child grows up to be rebellious? These are questions that I have no definite answers.

But I told her not to tell my parents about this as nothing is for sure yet. Meanwhile, I'm waiting for my 'last chance' to get my BFP this year. Nevertheless, we have the pre-adoption workshop next January to look forward to. The November workshop was full and these workshops seem to be very popular.

From FB, I was updated about friends and colleagues who are having babies. 8 out of 10 ladies I knew from 2 years back from the singaporemotherhood forum, all trying to conceive then, already have their own babies.  I feel happy for them but can't help feeling envious about their 'good fortune'.  One of the reasons that I actually gave my P for going on leave from school is that I'm affected when I see other teachers getting pregnant in school.

I don't want to go to baby showers, children's birthday parties or huge family gatherings. I don't like putting myself through all the "Ah! Baby so cute!", "When's your turn?", "How many years have you been married? Isn't it about time to have your own children?" or "Why don't you want to have children?" Well, if they only knew. Jerome always say that many people have nothing better to say.

A couple of years back when my mother-in-law mentioned that it was about time for us to have a baby over a family dinner, Jerome told her off and said that it's really our business. She never bring up the matter ever since. But he did announce to her that we're trying to start our family last year. Wonder when she'll ask to see some results... Then imagine the shock she might get if she finds out we're thinking about adopting.