The most generous man I know...

Jerome and I were invited to my father's friend (an Uncle Ho) 70th birthday party-dinner last Saturday. It was a grand celebration at a seafood restaurant  for 38 tables of guests complete with a dragon dance troupe that kickstart the evening. I remember attending Uncle Ho's 50th Birthday at a revolving restaurant. I vaguely remember Auntie Ho taking care of me in their small dark flat when I was a toddler when both my parents were working. I kinda grow up with her children.

My father and Uncle Ho came from the same kampong in Malaysia and they met each other again through coincidence in Singapore. I always Uncle Ho as a proud Teochew who was proud of being a Teochew and was always preaching/lecturing about values and such.

His eldest son gave an opening speech about how his father came to Singapore from Malaysia with just $20 in his pocket and that was a loan. There was no shame about it. From his humble beginnings, he had brought up his 3 children- 2 boys and a girl in a 3-room flat by being a lorry driver.

Uncle Ho is not the one who made it big. It was his eldest son, at 35yrs old, now a millionaire (maybe a multi-one) residing at Singapore's prime location at Bukit Timah A brilliant kid who scored straight As and managed to get to Hwa Chong Institution, one of the top colleges in Singapore, on his way to University,  ready for a bright future. Then he dropped out of school because of a shot-gun marriage.

Along the way, I know he tried to be a salesman of sorts, selling high-end products like mattresses, etc. I know because he got my father to buy one from him. I know that my parents have been helping their family in different ways.

Meanwhile, the second son was somehow getting into some troubles of his own. Uncle Ho got him to help my parents at their vegetable stall. So my parents employed him as a part-timer on weekends. The youngest daughter barely completed her secondary school education and got into another shot-gun marriage of her own. She married into Malaysia and together with her young husband, they would travel to & fro Malaysia and Singapore where they worked in a factory. Sad to say, their marriage didn't last. After having 3 children together, they divorced a few years back because the husband got himself a new girlfriend. Life's not perfect.

Anyway, back to the dinner... Uncle's Ho son was drinking far too much... He was loud and drunk, entertaining his friends. It was his father's birthday and he paid for it and he invited his friends. It looked   like his wedding banquet that he didn't manage to hold years ago when he got married at young age.

When he finally came to our table, he knelt between my parents and told the 2 tables of relatives and friends that my father is his father's benefactor and he was very grateful to the help my parents had given to their family.

He looked at me and I smiled at him. He's drunk. Then he turned to Jerome and told him, "She is my sister. You better don't bully her. Take good care of her. Or else I'm going to come after you." I thought this was pretty funny, sounds like lines out of a script. I was kinda touched nevertheless. Now I suddenly have a brother who sticks out for me.

Then he went on to hit his chest and made a promise to repay my parents' kindness by helping my father's descendants if anyone needs it. I don't know how my parents really helped his family, but this sounds like a very serious promise from a drunk man.

I wonder if he could really keep his promise and help to right a wrong.  When his brother came to help my parents at their vegetable stall, he was trusted with handling money. Temptation must have been too great as he helped himself to some extra pocket money. As time went on, he must have gotten bolder and took more. My mother noticed that the takings became significantly lesser on weekends. We are taking about hundreds of dollars here. It just didn't make sense where there were more customers on weekends but the takings were less than the weekdays. She noticed that when he was not around on certain weekends, the takings were more. So she found the theft and thief.

After my parents found out about the theft, they didn't confront him or  tell Uncle Ho. They just gave him an excuse saying that they did not need his help on weekends anymore and tries to forget about the incident. It's human to err and we all makes mistakes in our youth.

Perhaps it's time to redeem himself, time to come clean, to clear his conscience. Yes, he had made a mistake then. We kept quiet about it but we knew what he did. Since he is now able (helping his elder brother in a new business), it'll be good for him to personally admit his mistake, apologise and repay the 'loan' that my parents had given him then. It'll be the right thing to do but of course, my parents have no such expectations.

Anyway, this is just a wild thought. Just to voice it out here...

Note about my parents and their way with $:
My father is a one of the most generous man I've ever known. Although not rich himself, but he will always help relatives and friends in need when he is able to. My mother will always spends hundreds buying foodstuff to give to relatives whenever we visit our relatives in Malaysia. When relatives visit us, they can expect an expenses all-paid for holiday. Sometimes, I think my parents' were being taken advantage of. Their mentality was "If we have money, we share." After the Sichuan Earthquake, my father donated an amount (I found out from my sister's blog) which shocked me. He's one generous man with a big heart. "If you like it, buy it." he would tell my mother, indulging her, encouraging her to spend on things not necessary.  I used to 'spend money like water', spoilt by my parents, but I'm glad Jerome has 'cured' me. I was the one trying to curb my parents' spending when we went on a holiday recently, stopping them from buying too many things that they would eventually giving away anyway.