Thursday, December 31, 2009

The First Day of 2010

Last evening, I was trying to come up with an entry for "The Last Day of 2009", reflecting on 2009.  I had typed paragraphs and paragraphs to find myself deleting them... Maybe it's because I'm not proud of what I have done or not done & achieve...

In terms of my career, I have not finished strong, having the 2nd half of the year off. ( I have disappointed and failed miserably with all the expectations. Even at home, I didn't manage to achieve anything much during my leave... It's like I've wasted 6 months doing nothing...

But reminding myself that life's good and that I should always look at the bright side of life...
I have had a good rest. I have a new hobby- I have enjoyed playing around in the kitchen, cooking up a storm, baking & decorating cakes. I have spend a lot of time with Jerome (almost 24X7).

Today is a new start- a new day, a new year! I must start with a positive note! 2010 will be a better year! A year of breakthroughs! This is my new promise... Let me not lose sight of what really matters, keeping my focus, keeping my eye on the goal, striking a balance.

Have a joyous 2010!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

5 Years of Marriage

Jerome & I just celebrated our 5th year of marriage over the weekend. We had our ROM way back on 19 Dec 2004 and held our Chinese Customary Cum Wedding Dinner on 18 Dec 2006. So officially, we have been married for 5 years & known each other for slightly more than 6 years! Can't believe how time has passed! Usually, during this time of the year, we would have gone travelling overseas like an annual honeymoon to celebrate our anniversary. This year, due to my minor surgery, we had gone travelling a little earlier.

So we'e been together for over 6 years now and married and living together for 5 years. Jerome has definitely brought out the best in me and I hope that I've done the same for him. He has been a positive influence in my life, encouraging me to do whatever I like (well... most of the time). In the beginning of our relationship, I felt that he's like my father... :P He has more rules for me than my father (for that matter, my father didn't seem to set any rules). I didn't have a curfew until I met Jerome! He even 'disallow' me going to karaoke with my friends!

Jerome is a really social & vocal person, making friends easily. I'm usually the quiet one, taking some time to warm up. He was a businessman and got to meet many people. I'm a school teacher and my friends are quite limited to those I know in school. It's amazing sometimes to wonder how we ended up together in the first place... :)

Anyway, Jerome is my pillar of strength & I'm his sunshine :) To my dear husband, let's continue walking hand in hand to many more great years of love as we grow old together... Remembering our wedding wows... Love, comfort, honour and keep each other in sickness and in health and forsaking others, be faithful, so long as we both live...

Monday, December 14, 2009

Ah Q's Spirit- 阿Q精神

Was feeling down for a couple of reasons. People deal with stress, negative thoughts & energies differently. Some people go for a run, a swim, meet with friends, have a beer, dance the night away, eat, shop, etc. Whenever I feel down, I try simply to think more optimistically and bake something. (Er... but that doesn't mean that I feel down whenever I bake. I just like to bake.)

I try to thinking more positively, simply telling myself to be contented as things could be worse, much worse. So things are really not as bad as they seem. It's not a big problem. It's no big deal. Life's not perfect, but it's still good! Think this is also the reason why I started this blog- to remind myself to stay contented as life's indeed good!

I had a surgery to remove my sinus tract infection on my cheek. I was worried about the scarring. Told myself at least it's not life threatening, not a tumour or something. I already had a scar before, I can cover it under some powder. It's not that bad. It's really not a big deal. 

Have been trying to conceive for quite some time now, but with no results. It's okay, I am still enjoying life without children. We can travel freely. I would honestly rather be child-free than than have a child born with special needs. I salute parents with children born with special needs. 

Was telling Jerome that although I seem 'bo chap' (not bothered) about certain situations,  I have my own coping strategies that have helped me well. My strategy of 'staying positive' is what he referred as the "阿Q精神 (AH Q's Spirit)'. When you can't have it, just think positively to make yourself feel better -it's really self-delusion. (eg. When Jerome was young, he wanted to have a holiday. His mother said that he is fortunate enough to have left the country. There are many others who do not have a chance.)  On the flip side, there's a danger of not progressing, since one is easily contented. To me, it's like a paradox, a balance has to be strike. If there's a situation that you really cannot change, then adopting the "Ah Q's Spirit' of thinking positively will definitely make life a lot easier & happier. It's definitely the path of least resistance. Why dwell in unhappiness if you can change your attitude and mindset a little and be happy instead? 

Did a little research on the net & found the following about the Ah Q's Spirit:
Ah Q is a character in a novel written by Lu Xun. "The life Ah Q lives in his mind as opposed to his life which is reality, remind me of certain tendencies in my own life to spend a little mental power and beautifying an otherwise ugly outlook." According to the Wikipedia,  the "spirit of Ah Q" (阿Q精神)(A Q jingshen) is now commonly used as a term of mockery to describe anybody who chooses not to face up to reality and deceives himself into believing he is successful or that he has unjustified beliefs of superiority over others.

Hmm... Do I have "Ah Q's Spirit"? Whatever it is, I'm just trying to think positively... 

And remember Nick, the Australian guy born without arms & legs? If he can be happy, so can we!
I like what my sister said in her blog, "If you are unhappy, you are wasting time you could be happy instead. Rather be happy than unhappy."

Always Think of the Bright Side of Life by Monty Python
So dance like noone's watching...

"The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now.
If not now ... when?

Your life will always be filled with challenges. 
It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway."

After all that's being said, you can always strive for the best! 
Life's good and it can definitely be better!

It's good!

A friend forwarded this through e-mail. It is good! It is good!
Whatever you have or don't, be contented...
Keep an open mind...