Friday, February 26, 2010

Finding Happiness

According Dalai Lama, the purpose of life is the constant pursuit of happiness...

Finding Joy...

Monday, February 22, 2010

Sleepless Nights

Been having problems sleeping at night... Mind just keep thinking about school, about work... How long can I carry on?

Yesterday, went to bed at 10pm, trying to sleep early as I need to wake up at 5am. Kept turning and tossing, mind keep thinking about school... After the turning & tossing and visiting the toilets for 3 times in the night, I wonder if I've got at least a 3 hr sleep in-between.

This is not good at all...

Well, in the spirit of life's good- things could be worse... I do have a nice bed with hubby next to me...
The only problem- I can't sleep...

Saturday, February 6, 2010

1st Visit to KKH-Private Suite

"New Year Resolution #1: Make a Baby!" my dear hubby said on 1st Jan.

Jerome had made an appointment to visit a fertility gynea last month. And this morning we had our first appointment with Dr K L at KKH at the Private Suite. Along our way to the PS at KKH, we walked passed many shops selling all kinds of babies and children products. When I saw the baby cribs, I found myself tearing up. Don't know when I can shop for one. And I can't help but think about my colleague in school who is blessed with another pregnancy. Another two are going for to deliver their babies soon. A few are on maternity and extended child-care leave. Everyone else seem to be having a baby or getting pregnant, except me... Why is it just difficult for me? What's wrong with me?

Our appointment was at 9am, but we only managed to see the doctor at 10am as she was held up at the IVF clinic. I certainly hope that we do not need to consider that path... A long wait outside at a huge and comfortable waiting area... Almost everyone has a huge or growing tummy. My tummy is growing but definitely not for the right reason. Could be the kueh lapis...

When we finally had our consultation, saw that the doctor was also pregnant herself. After some questions (how long have u been married? how long have u been actively trying? Any birth control before this? Menstrual Cycle? How often do we have ***? Have u done any body checkup before this? etc), I had a super quick Pap Smear and another examination where a probe was inserted. Apparently, images of my 'insides' could be seen on her monitor. Dr ended by saying, "Very good! No sign of fibroids or cysts." Great! So nothing unusual at the moment. So now what?

A hypothesis- I could be having ovulation problems. So I was prescribe 3 cycles of clomid pills to get my body to ovulate. 1 pill per day for AF cycle Day 2 to 6. We were told to BD every alternate days from Day 8 to Day 20. Day 21, return to hospital for a blood test to check whether the pills worked. Dosage to increase if necessary. Side effects include hot flushes, headaches and nauseousness, but are rare. The Dr has forgotten to mention premature menopause which I've read about.

Meanwhile, Jerome also had to arrange for an appointment in March to send his troops for analysis. He was told by the nurse when not to BD before collecting the sample.

For now, we'll just follow instructions then... just do as we're told... then we'll see... I hope the pills work its magic...

A Story About Sheer Determination or Obsession?

Jerome told me about a story that he learned from a programme he watched on Channel News Asia a few days ago.

An Indian woman fell and injured herself on her way to the town centre as she had to climb a mountain along the way. Out of love for his wife, her husband decided to construct a tunnel through the mountain to make the journey a safer and shorter one. With just a chisel and a hammer, he began to dig a tunnel out of the mountain. Incredible? Impossible? Crazy? Even his family members thought that he was crazy. His wife helped him at first but eventually gave up and then passed away because of an illness. He continued his impossible mission and finally managed to dig a tunnel through the mountain. The feat took him 27 years. He was given the highest honour by the government for his incredible work. Engineers looked at the tunnel and said it's impossible to dig the tunnel without the use of modern machineries. But he did it. Out of sheer determination or obsession?

Found that there were 2 versions of the story I found on-line:
1) His wife injured herself while on her way to deliver food to him. A hospital was later built and named after his wife after he dug the tunnel. Story1
2) He dug the tunnel in honour of his dead wife who could not get to the hospital in time because of the mountain. story2

Apparently, inspired by this story, another Indian man also spent 14 years to dig through another tunnel in another mountain just so he can park his truck in front of his house!

Let no mountain stand in your way!