Stay Positive!!!

When i went for the pregnancy blood test this morning, i told the nurse to call my hubby regarding the results. Told her jokingly that i can't take the excitement. Before the test. Hubby and I already had a good talk. Regardless of results, we'll stay positive. If we fail this 1st round of IVF, we'll go book ourselves a nice holiday for Dec hols to celebrate our anniversary. So when we got home, I read the papers and began looking at the tour packages- my consolation prize.

At 3pm, the call finally came. Hubby talked to her in the study while I lazed on the couch, dunno what to expect. Finally, hubby put down the phone and came running out, exclaiming, "I'm going to be a father." The HCG level is 182! IT's a BFP!!! We were crying and hugging each other. It's too good to be true!

However, there's a need to repeat the blood test on Monday to check that the HCG level is rising.so I guess that's when they can really confirm the pregnancy. So guess, another round of waiting & anticipation...

But for now, I can say I'm pregnant! Gonna tok to my babies now :)

IVF#1 @2WW

Now at home on the couch with 2 feet up. A fren's advice after she had successfully conceived her beautiful daughter after her 1st IVF cycle was to bed/couch rest during this 2weeks. Had finished watching an entire Korean period drama series, surfed the net, joined an on-line forum for IVF support group, read half a book, enjoying life (while hubby's cooking & cleaning the house) or rather feeling bored... Hence decided that I shall blog about my TTC & IVF journey so far.

2010- Seen Dr K Loi at Kk who precribed 6 cycles of clomid.
Did HSG and clear test. Hubby also cleared sperm test.
Feb 2011-Seen Dr Sadana who prescribed Letrozole.
Decided to go for IVF.
17 June 2011- first appointment to see Dr Loh at KK clinic D.
1st ultrasound found that I had small ovaries and ovarian reserves could be low. Relieved and depressed at the same time that Dr was finally able to find a problem. But does this problem arise from all the ovulation drugs that I've taken before? The 2 previous drs did ultrasounds for me too but never report any abnormalities. But felt that I'm now in good hands. We were referred to ivf clinic & booked our ivf counseling session for July. Next appointment to see is right before the counseling session.
23 June- Blood test for AMH, FSH, LH, E2 & Prolactin
27 July- 2nd appointment to see Dr Loh at Clinic D.
He reviewed results of the blood test and said it's okay to proceed with IVF for next AF cycle.
Hubby & I took blood tests for HIV, Hep. B, VDRL, Rubella & Hep C
After lunch, we returned to IVF centre to officially register for IVF, briefed by the nurse about the costs involved (9-11k before subsidy), then briefed by a Dr about the entire IVF procedure. I've got a prescription for Microgynon tablet- a contraceptive pill meant to regulate my AF.
That day, parking fees at Kk is over $10. Imagine the number of hours we spent there. A long day at Kk.

Aug -Sept 2011: IVF

Stage 1: On OCP before suppression of body's natural release of hormones
Aug 3- D1-AF reports- calls KKIVF
Aug 4- D2- starts Oral Contraceptive pills Microgynon x 21 days
Aug 18- D16- starts daily Lucrin injection
Aug 28- AF reports again and cleared up just in time for...
Sept 1- Baseline Ultrasound and blood test.

Stage 2- Stimulation of the ovaries to produce follicles containing the eggs
Sept 2- starts daily puregon pen injection (200iu). Continues with Lucrin injections.
Sept 9- 1st ultrasound to check size of follicles. Dr reviewed and got another dosage for 2 puregon injections.
Sept 10- 2nd scan to check follicle size.

Stage 3: Maturation of eggs(oocyctes) recovery.
Sept 11- 8.30pm Pregnyl injection at KK 24hrs O&G.Stop Lucrin & puregon injection.

Stage 4: Egg retrieval and fertilization
Sept 13- Egg Retrieval under GA while hubby collected sperm sample.
Woke up before the entire procedure was over and could feel prodding and pain.
Retrieved 18 eggs which I thought was a good number. Recovered pretty quickly post ER and had Macdonalds for lunch. For the 1st time, I had hot Milo to go with my meal.
Felt bloated and could see obvious bulge at tummy. Manageable cramps.

Stage 5: Embryos Transfer
Sept 15- blood test to check for risk of OHSS.
2 embryos were transferred back while hubby was in room watching. A pretty amazing moment. A photograph of the embryos transferred was given. The 2 little ones that I hope are growing well within me now.

Pregnancy support- 2 tablets of utrogestan(100mg) insertion 3 times daily.
Sept 21- Blood test for progesterone levels.

Sept 30- Blood test BHCG to test for pregnancy.

After all the visits to the Drs, Kk, medication, jabs, blood tests & scans, cant believe how time flies. So now, I'm just playing the waiting game and keeping my fingers and toes crossed like so many others.

Thanks for sharing!

A reader shared her IVF experience at this timely moment. Thank you for the encouragement! The following is what she shared:


I think I came here through your recipe blog. Just wanted to say that I have a 6y.o and twins..one boy and on girl 2.5y.o who wer all conceived through IVF.

The thing is conceiving through IVf gives you the same chance as someone conceiving naturally...basically 1 in 4 chance. Even naturally, you don't expect to get pg in your first attempt.

I have lost count of how many fresh and frozen cycles I endured. It was disappointment after disappointment but I knew it was just a numbers game.

But I hope you will be successful on your first attempt!

for me

ttc #1 IVF bfn, FET, bfn, IVF bfp (3 attempts and totaly of 6 embryos tfx and 1 implanted)

ttc#2 can't remember how many IVFs and FETs but eventually we manage to conceive twins through a fresh IVF cycle.

1st Cycle of IVF

Just an update- I've started on my 1st cycle of IVF. Wish me all the best :)

The irony of it is that I have to start with a cycle of contraceptive pills first...

Day 2 Blood Test

Went to KK this morning for a blood test. The following will be tested:

1) Follicular-Stimulating Hormone (FSH)
2) Luteinsing Hormone (LH)
3) Estradiol (E2)
4) Prolactin
5) Anti-Mullerian Hormone (AMH)

Results will only be revealed and reviewed on my next appointment with Dr Loh which will be in a month's time.

Decided to find out a little more about all these tests...

1) Follicular-Stimulating Hormone (FSH)

- hormone released by the pituitary gland to start follicle development. If the ovaries do not respond promptly or are producing fewer eggs, the FSH levels will be high. 

2) Luteinsing Hormone (LH)

- a surge in the LH level indicates ovulation

- however, LH level also rises during menopause 

3) Estradiol (E2)

- a sex hormone, used to access ovarian function

4) Prolactin 

- to diagnose infertility

5) Anti-Mullerian Hormone (AMH)

- to test for the ovarian reserve

It's amazing and scary what a small tube of blood can tell us. 

Costs (GST not inclusive):

1) FSH $32.30

2) LH $32.30

3) E2 $34.70

4) Prolactin $32.30

5) AMH $40.00

2, 4, 6 or none?

Think it was about over a week ago, I was reading the forum page in the papers. A lady wrote in to say why her husband decided to stop at 2 and not 4. That is stop at having 2 children... The bottom line is that they decided that they have just enough time, energy and $ for 2 children and not more. Hence, she aborted her last pregnancy that consisted of a pair of twins. Couldn't she have given birth to them and give them up for adoption later, giving them the gift and chance of life?

Then a few days later, another lady wrote in to share why she and her husband decided to have 6 children... But of course, her children are quite grown up now and somehow they have managed.

These are 2 women from 2 different generations.

What about me?
I think I like the number 3. But I'll be lucky to have 1!

Btw, the latest attempt on Letrozole has failed again. So we've decided to go for IVF after letting my body rest for a month before more medication... Told hubby that he will have to learn to give me my daily injection, play his part and overcome his 'fear of needles'.

Strange Dream

Jerome and I were somewhere in China, having a holiday. We came across an old woman carrying a really chubby baby with rosy cheeks. It turned out that she was asking for someone to adopt the little baby. Her daughter ran away from home after giving birth to the baby and she was too old and poor to care for the baby. Without hesitation, Jerome and I decided to adopted the little baby, giving the old lady $$$ for her 'gift'. We have 'bought' the most precious gift!

I can't remember what happened afterwards as I woke up from my 'sweet' dream or strange dream. Anyone into analysis of dreams?

New Year, New Hopes

The year 2011 has started and we're into its 3rd month already! I've not been updating this blog for quite sometime now. Been kinda lazy :P As it turned out, I'm still not back in school despite my P's attractive offer cos of some rules of MOE. Anyway, keeping my fingers crossed  that I'll still be able to return to school on a part-time basis in Term 3.

Last month, we've managed to see a new gynea at KK who prescribed a new medication- Letrozole that's suppose to be better than Clomid. It costs a lot more too. For 10 tablets to be taken over 5 days, it was about S$100. It was actually a post-breast cancer treatment medication that is also often prescribed over the last decade as a fertility drug. Apparently, the makers of the drug had issued warning letters to doctors against prescribing them as fertility drugs. But nevertheless, I guess Letrozole is still being frequently prescribed. But we've been warned that one has to be absolutely certain that one is not pregnant before having Letrozole as it's detrimental to the development of the fetus.

Anyway, after I've completed my 1st cycle of Letrozole,  I was still spotting and was suffering from a pain and a swell in my right neck. 3 days later, I was still having fever and the swell on my neck was obvious. I was getting worried, hoping that it was nothing serious. I googled and tried to look for reasons to explain my 'sufferings', I called the KKIVF centre and asked if all these were the side effects of Letrozole. I was advised to visit the 24hr clinic at KK to see a doctor.

Finally at 11p.m., we finally went to visit the doctor just to 'buy some peace". After a urine test, doctor spotted a faint line on the pregnancy kit and I saw a glimpse of hope while the dr went on to suggest a blood test to confirm if I was really pregnant. Jerome was horrified! Could his 'sotong' wife started on Letrozole when she was pregnant all along? He had read up on all the side effects of Letrozole. For the first time, he hoped that it's a false positive. Later when I was out of the consultation room, Jerome returned to ask the doctor some questions of his own. The doctors confirmed his fears about all the side effects of Letrozole. He asked her if the pregnancy test is positive, should he be happy or should he worry. Doctor said to take things one step at a time. At least it proved that my egg and his sperm are working.

Along our home home, I kept telling Jerome that it's not possible for me to be pregnant. My menses has just ended and I can't be pregnant before that as I've already used the test kit before starting on Letrozole.
Sometime after midnight, KK called, "Mdm Tan, this is calling from KKH. Your blood test results is out and we are sorry to inform you that you are not pregnant." I had very mixed feeling upon hear this. Kinda disappointed that I'm still not pregnant. Relieved as we didn't have to worry about the effects of Letrozole. So all our worries were for nothing. But I'm not sure if I would try Letrozole for another cycle. I certainly hope I don't have to :)

Ramdom Thoughts

My youngest sister wrote me a long mail via facebook telling me about what she thinks when she read about our adoption plans. She offered her mobile services 24-7 to me and I was really touched. She was telling me that we're still both young and should continue trying to have our own. She was concerned about what others may think, the questions asked by relatives, etc... What if the biological mother comes knocking and wants her child back? What if we eventually have our own biological children? What if the child grows up to be rebellious? These are questions that I have no definite answers.

But I told her not to tell my parents about this as nothing is for sure yet. Meanwhile, I'm waiting for my 'last chance' to get my BFP this year. Nevertheless, we have the pre-adoption workshop next January to look forward to. The November workshop was full and these workshops seem to be very popular.

From FB, I was updated about friends and colleagues who are having babies. 8 out of 10 ladies I knew from 2 years back from the singaporemotherhood forum, all trying to conceive then, already have their own babies.  I feel happy for them but can't help feeling envious about their 'good fortune'.  One of the reasons that I actually gave my P for going on leave from school is that I'm affected when I see other teachers getting pregnant in school.

I don't want to go to baby showers, children's birthday parties or huge family gatherings. I don't like putting myself through all the "Ah! Baby so cute!", "When's your turn?", "How many years have you been married? Isn't it about time to have your own children?" or "Why don't you want to have children?" Well, if they only knew. Jerome always say that many people have nothing better to say.

A couple of years back when my mother-in-law mentioned that it was about time for us to have a baby over a family dinner, Jerome told her off and said that it's really our business. She never bring up the matter ever since. But he did announce to her that we're trying to start our family last year. Wonder when she'll ask to see some results... Then imagine the shock she might get if she finds out we're thinking about adopting.

Looking at Adoption in A New Light

I mentioned earlier that Jerome was thinking about adoption and a dear friend shared with me some information and links to some adoption agencies in Singapore. So I thought I could just take a look. Just to look.

There was a gallery showing lots of pictures of adorable babies and one moment I was 'awwwing' at the pictures of these cute little babies and the next moment, I found myself tearing up. I called Jerome to take a look. He looked ready to choose one already. All these babies are up for adoption because of one reason or the other. I felt a sudden urge to bring one home immediately.

I found out that there is a "Pre-adoption Workshop" coming up next Friday and the closing date for application is tomorrow! I told Jerome about the workshop and that we have to attend it. Jerome was puzzled why I was suddenly excited about adoption as I didn't seemed to so keen before. He said I should cool down. The next thing I know I burst out crying!  We are trying so hard to have one of our own babies and yet there are lots of parents who got their babies and didn't want them. The babies are innocent and we can give them a good family and home to grow up in. We will shower our baby with all our love.

I've sent them an email regarding the workshop and will call them tomorrow first thing in the morning.  I hope to still get the vacancies to go next week.

Another Cycle of Clomid

In February, Jerome made an appointment at KKH-The Private Suite to visit Dr K Loi who specializes in fertility.  After that first consultation, after an ultrasound and a Pap Smear, Dr Loi suggested that I was not ovulating and hence I was prescribed clomid to be taken over 3 cycles and Jerome had to check out his troops. Our next appointment will be after the 3 cycles and after Dr Loi returned from her maternity leave.

The first month I started, I had to visit the hospital for a blood test to check for my Progesterone levels that indicates whether I'm ovulating. But strangely, there was no follow up to that blood test. Just like the Pap Smear I did, there were no calls or mails. What's the purpose of doing the tests if I don't get the results?

After the 2nd blood test, I told the nurse about this. Only then I found out that I needed to get my blood test done at the KKIVF department, not at the Pte Suite. Anyway, a few days later, I received a call from a nurse telling me that I'm not ovulating and that I should increase my dosage of clomid to 2 tablets. So I had to make another trip to KKH just to get the extra tablets. Another blood test after the 3rd cycle confirmed that I was ovulating.

So after completing my first 3 cycles of clomid, we finally visited Dr Loi again in July.  She suggested that  do a HSG test where a radioactive dye is injected through the vagina and an x-ray taken to check whether my fallopian tubes are blocked. So I went for that and cleared the test.

The next visit, after the HSG test, Dr Loi suggested that I try another 3 cycles of clomid. Since I'm ovulating with 2 tablets, I'll just stick to 2. She informed us that she's leaving KKH for her own practice at Paragon so if I want to see her again, we'll have to move with her. Think it's a blessing really. We were thinking of seeing another gynae.

Jerome & I felt that she had not been very professional and most forgetful so we'll not visit her again. On 2 occasions, during the consultation, she said she's going to prescribe some multi-vitamins for Jerome  but she forgot. During a visit, I was told I need to do another Pap Smear during my next visit. And during my next visit, she forgot about it. We had stepped out of her office when I remembered that. We went back in and reminded her. During our last consultation, she said I should stick to 2 tablets of clomid. But when I got the prescription, I was given 3 tablets. Dr Loi made a mistake on the prescription? Both Jerome & I were certain that I were to be on 2 tablets.  Errr... so should I just take 2 tablets since I'm ovulating at 2, or should I be kiasu and take 3? Even the Pharmacist was surprised of my 'high' dosage as she had only seen prescription of 2 tablets so far. So we decided that we'll just stick to 2 tablets and we're definitely not going to stick to Dr Loi.

Anyway, so I've now started on my 5th cycle of clomid. Another cycle of wait and see...

On a brighter note, we've both passed all the medical tests that we had to do. I'm ovulating with 2 tables after my 3rd blood test. I've no side effects from taking clomid.

Jerome says we'll move on to IVF next year. He has also considered adopting.

P/S I was shocked at how cheap clomid is. At KKH, it's less than 20 cents a pill. So for less than a dollar a month, it had helped some many couples conceive. And it seems that many colleagues in school who had their babies took clomid before.

1st Visit to KKH-Private Suite

"New Year Resolution #1: Make a Baby!" my dear hubby said on 1st Jan.


Jerome had made an appointment to visit a fertility gynea last month. And this morning we had our first appointment with Dr K L at KKH at the Private Suite. Along our way to the PS at KKH, we walked passed many shops selling all kinds of babies and children products. When I saw the baby cribs, I found myself tearing up. Don't know when I can shop for one. And I can't help but think about my colleague in school who is blessed with another pregnancy. Another two are going for to deliver their babies soon. A few are on maternity and extended child-care leave. Everyone else seem to be having a baby or getting pregnant, except me... Why is it just difficult for me? What's wrong with me?


Our appointment was at 9am, but we only managed to see the doctor at 10am as she was held up at the IVF clinic. I certainly hope that we do not need to consider that path... A long wait outside at a huge and comfortable waiting area... Almost everyone has a huge or growing tummy. My tummy is growing but definitely not for the right reason. Could be the kueh lapis...


When we finally had our consultation, saw that the doctor was also pregnant herself. After some questions (how long have u been married? how long have u been actively trying? Any birth control before this? Menstrual Cycle? How often do we have ***? Have u done any body checkup before this? etc), I had a super quick Pap Smear and another examination where a probe was inserted. Apparently, images of my 'insides' could be seen on her monitor. Dr ended by saying, "Very good! No sign of fibroids or cysts." Great! So nothing unusual at the moment. So now what?


A hypothesis- I could be having ovulation problems. So I was prescribe 3 cycles of clomid pills to get my body to ovulate. 1 pill per day for AF cycle Day 2 to 6. We were told to BD every alternate days from Day 8 to Day 20. Day 21, return to hospital for a blood test to check whether the pills worked. Dosage to increase if necessary. Side effects include hot flushes, headaches and nauseousness, but are rare. The Dr has forgotten to mention premature menopause which I've read about.


Meanwhile, Jerome also had to arrange for an appointment in March to send his troops for analysis. He was told by the nurse when not to BD before collecting the sample.


For now, we'll just follow instructions then... just do as we're told... then we'll see... I hope the pills work its magic...