Sunday, March 27, 2011

2, 4, 6 or none?

Think it was about over a week ago, I was reading the forum page in the papers. A lady wrote in to say why her husband decided to stop at 2 and not 4. That is stop at having 2 children... The bottom line is that they decided that they have just enough time, energy and $ for 2 children and not more. Hence, she aborted her last pregnancy that consisted of a pair of twins. Couldn't she have given birth to them and give them up for adoption later, giving them the gift and chance of life?

Then a few days later, another lady wrote in to share why she and her husband decided to have 6 children... But of course, her children are quite grown up now and somehow they have managed.

These are 2 women from 2 different generations.

What about me?
I think I like the number 3. But I'll be lucky to have 1!

Btw, the latest attempt on Letrozole has failed again. So we've decided to go for IVF after letting my body rest for a month before more medication... Told hubby that he will have to learn to give me my daily injection, play his part and overcome his 'fear of needles'.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Strange Dream

Jerome and I were somewhere in China, having a holiday. We came across an old woman carrying a really chubby baby with rosy cheeks. It turned out that she was asking for someone to adopt the little baby. Her daughter ran away from home after giving birth to the baby and she was too old and poor to care for the baby. Without hesitation, Jerome and I decided to adopted the little baby, giving the old lady $$$ for her 'gift'. We have 'bought' the most precious gift!

I can't remember what happened afterwards as I woke up from my 'sweet' dream or strange dream. Anyone into analysis of dreams?

Friday, March 4, 2011

New Year, New Hopes

The year 2011 has started and we're into its 3rd month already! I've not been updating this blog for quite sometime now. Been kinda lazy :P As it turned out, I'm still not back in school despite my P's attractive offer cos of some rules of MOE. Anyway, keeping my fingers crossed  that I'll still be able to return to school on a part-time basis in Term 3.

Last month, we've managed to see a new gynea at KK who prescribed a new medication- Letrozole that's suppose to be better than Clomid. It costs a lot more too. For 10 tablets to be taken over 5 days, it was about S$100. It was actually a post-breast cancer treatment medication that is also often prescribed over the last decade as a fertility drug. Apparently, the makers of the drug had issued warning letters to doctors against prescribing them as fertility drugs. But nevertheless, I guess Letrozole is still being frequently prescribed. But we've been warned that one has to be absolutely certain that one is not pregnant before having Letrozole as it's detrimental to the development of the fetus.

Anyway, after I've completed my 1st cycle of Letrozole,  I was still spotting and was suffering from a pain and a swell in my right neck. 3 days later, I was still having fever and the swell on my neck was obvious. I was getting worried, hoping that it was nothing serious. I googled and tried to look for reasons to explain my 'sufferings', I called the KKIVF centre and asked if all these were the side effects of Letrozole. I was advised to visit the 24hr clinic at KK to see a doctor.

Finally at 11p.m., we finally went to visit the doctor just to 'buy some peace". After a urine test, doctor spotted a faint line on the pregnancy kit and I saw a glimpse of hope while the dr went on to suggest a blood test to confirm if I was really pregnant. Jerome was horrified! Could his 'sotong' wife started on Letrozole when she was pregnant all along? He had read up on all the side effects of Letrozole. For the first time, he hoped that it's a false positive. Later when I was out of the consultation room, Jerome returned to ask the doctor some questions of his own. The doctors confirmed his fears about all the side effects of Letrozole. He asked her if the pregnancy test is positive, should he be happy or should he worry. Doctor said to take things one step at a time. At least it proved that my egg and his sperm are working.

Along our home home, I kept telling Jerome that it's not possible for me to be pregnant. My menses has just ended and I can't be pregnant before that as I've already used the test kit before starting on Letrozole.
Sometime after midnight, KK called, "Mdm Tan, this is calling from KKH. Your blood test results is out and we are sorry to inform you that you are not pregnant." I had very mixed feeling upon hear this. Kinda disappointed that I'm still not pregnant. Relieved as we didn't have to worry about the effects of Letrozole. So all our worries were for nothing. But I'm not sure if I would try Letrozole for another cycle. I certainly hope I don't have to :)