Do You Remember Me?

I'm now back teaching in school for the past 3 weeks. And "Do you remember me?"  is the question that I'm been asked almost everyday in school. Ex-pupils will come up to me, greet me and ask me this question. I remember most of them. But sometimes, I look at their faces and I really can't remember who they are but obviously they remember me.

Just yesterday, a P6 girl came up to me and asked me the same question. I looked at her and her name tag but I honestly don't remember having taught her. She explained that I had once read a story to her in the school library when she was in P2, that was 4 years back. I almost asked her which story. Silly me :P

I'd like to think I've indeed made a difference and that's why they remember me. I like it when children sees me, waves to me and calls me. I do remember my days back in school when I will purposely avoid certain teachers who crossed my paths. I'm glad I'm not a teacher the children normally avoid.

I'm not the best teacher but I'm certain I'm one of the better ones. I try my best and I believe I touch lives and make a positive difference!

An Irresistible Offer

I went back to school today to submit my leave form to extend my no-pay leave with the resignation letter as a back up. The P said that they need help at the library, to purchase books etc. I quickly volunteered to help shop for books as I really don't mind shopping for children's books. Actually, I love to shop for children's books!

And I've got an irresistible offer from the Principal instead. He offered me 1/4 load- just be the library coordinator, in charge of purchasing books and planning for library and reading programmes. No teaching, 2 days per week, 4-5hrs per day.

I couldn't believe it! This is really good! I had to stop myself from taking up his offer there and then. I told him that I would need to discuss with Jerome first.

On my way home, I couldn't wait to share with Jerome the 'good news'. I messaged him and told him about the P's offer. To my disappointment, Jerome's response was "No!" He said knowing me, I would eventually go to school three times a week and work 8 to 5 again. He said I might as well return full time...

An Almost Sleepless Night

Was having problems falling asleep last night- thinking about SO-IUI, IVF, gynaes and adoption...

And when I finally fell asleep, I had a nightmare  dream that woke me up and I had troubles falling asleep again after that.

I dreamt that I was back in school trying to get some things ( OMG! I still have so much stuff in school!) but I bypass the office as I didn't want anyone to ask me how I've been? What I've been doing? etc... It must have been a Saturday as there was no one around. When I was about to leave the school, one of the HODs saw me and asked me whether I'm returning to school next year as they are planning for the time-table. My 6 months leave is coming to an end. I was thinking about how to answer him when I woke up.

I have 4 options.

1) Return to school next year.
2) Try to extend my no-pay-leave by another 6 months.
3) Ask for a transfer to a school closer to home.
4) Resign.

1) Return to School.
At least I'm productive in school. The children in school missed me and I missed them too. I have colleagues and friends to talk to. I won't feel like I'm living in a social vacuum. Now, I feel I can just throw away my mobile phone since hardly anybody ever calls me.

But I know once I'm back, I'll be consumed by the demands of work and lose my current focus/priority in life. Work stress correlates to low fertility rates. After enjoying life these few months, it will be difficult to get back into the routine. Back to waking up at 5am and reaching home at 7pm? For what?

2) Try to extend my No-Pay Leave.
Think that's going to be difficult. "Taking leave from work trying to conceive" doesn't seem like a valid reason at all. Although the P did say I can take 2 years off some 5 months, but that's still subjected to MOE's approval. Even when I'm on leave, I'm still often thinking about school. I still have my 'warehouse' I need to clear in school. I'm really a 'collector'. Am thinking of driving Jerome's car (once I'm confident enough) back to school so that I can clear all my barang barang in a few trips :P

3) Ask for a transfer to a school nearer to home.
This is quite an attractive option for me. The 3-4hr daily commute was a nightmare for me, especially when I take the Circle Line home during peak hours. In the morning, the crowd not so bad. I just have to leave home at 5.30am to catch a feeder bus, then take the train from Woodlands to Bishan, change to Circle Line, to Mountbatten, then transfer to another bus so that I can reach school by 7am. Then if I leave school at 4.30p.m, I can expect to reach home at around 7p.m. The peak hour crowd in the evening was a force. Trying to board a train from Bishan in a already sardined packed carriage is an almost impossible task. I usually have to wait for the next train. Then at Yishun, I had to alight again as the train terminates at the station. This time, I probably had to wait for the 4th train that comes along before I can find a lucky spot to squeeze myself in. Then another superlong queue for the feeder bus at the interchange to finally take me home.

I'm reminding myself of that nightmare as it plays a vital role in my decision making. And you can bet that after a long day at home and the long journey home, I don't have much energy left to do anything (or say anything) else in the evening. I didn't want to 'complain' to Jerome about the travelling at first as I knew what he'll just say, "See! I told you so! I've asked you to transfer school a long time ago! I already said part-time or just resign. But itchy backside has to go back full-time..."

Another school, another brand new start... but...

4) Resign.
Think I'll just resign and save everyone the trouble. I can stay focused on my current priority.
Like Jerome always say, "Relax! Take it easy!" So when should I submit my resignation again?

It's a great day!

Finally back to school, or rather seeing the children again, today after the 1 week break and the 3 days of training.1st period of the day met my new full class of P3 EL children. Have heard stories about some children who were involved in different 'adventures' and had to be sent to the vice-principal and the principal in Term1. Have been warned by the form-teacher about some children who are prone to misbehaving and those I need to 'keep an eye on'. But amazingly, everyone's really well-behaved. Maybe it's the first day and they're trying to make a good impression and putting up their best behaviours.

I read "Miss Nelson Is Missing" to the children. It's a story that I love to share on the first day of school before we set class rules, etc. The story is about a kind teacher who had the worst-behaved class in the whole school. So the teacher decided to go missing one day and a substitute teacher, Miss Viola Swamp, came. Yap, with a name like that, the teacher was a indeed a 'witch' and the children were terrified of her. They missed nice Miss Nelson. Eventually Miss Nelson returned to class and all the children learned their lesson and behaved well. Well, of course, Miss Viola Swamp was actually Miss Nelson in disguise.

During the story, everyone was fully attentive. Well, guess everyone loves a story :) Of course, the message learned from the story is simple- If you want your teacher to be nice and loving like Miss Nelson, then you need to be well-behaved, pay atttention in class, respect the teacher, etc. If you want your teacher to become Miss Viola Swamp, you just have to make her angry...

It's also great that the children are doing the story "The Mystery of Missing Big Wig" this week so I could also draw some parallels between the 2 stories. The children were excited and the discussions were lively.
I've enjoyed teaching the class. It's a great difference from the previous P3 classes and the P5 class that I'm teaching, still struggling to read. It's a refreshing change.

After school & remedial for the P5s, I stayed back in school preparing some resources. I was so engrossed in whatever I was doing that when Jerome called me at 6pm, I was still in school! I have lost track of time. Just before I left school, I've checked my pigeon hole and found a book "Teaching is Heartwork", left by the P, meant to be put in the school library for teachers. It was a compilation of reflections and personal experiences from some beginning teachers. I took the book and read some of the stories during my bus-ride home. Some of the stories struck a cord in me. I can relate to the teachers and their experiences.

By the time I've reached home, it's close to 8p.m. Hmm... when I left home in the morning, it was dark. When I'm home again, it's still dark. When will I see daylight? I'm tired but I still feel great! Maybe the only thing that was not so great was when I spent a minute digging in my big bag for my keys and was almost in a panic when I realised I have beening holding them in my hand all the time.

Told Jerome that this new P3 class had 3 different teachers in Term 1 and I'm the 4th! If I'm leaving after this term, there'll be a 5th! I'm having 2nd thoughts about resigning in June already. Jerome said don't think about it and reminded me that noone was irreplaceable in any organisation.

He told me that he called his mum today and among other things they've talked about, he had thought it was time to make an 'announcement' to his mum that we're now trying for a baby. Err... yap, true I've announced to the world that we're trying for a baby. But telling his mum is really putting the pressure... to produce results... soon... Not too good at all...

LSP Certification

After 16 days of about 130hrs of intensive training, I've finally completed my LSP (Learning Support Programme) training of Phase 19! Hmm.. and not just LSP, it's the Enhanced LSP. We're presented with a certificate that 'proved' that we are 'certified' LSCs and hence highly sought after by schools. Really?

I've learned many useful strategies and lots of rules that I've never been really aware before. The entire programme is targetted at helping the weak English language learners who lack exposure to the language, come from non- English language speaking homes or lack home support.

Can't remember how I manage to learn the English Language in the first place... I'm most probably a weak learner too when I was young. I may be dyslexic too, always mixing up my b and d, p and q. I hated spelling. I remembered an occasion when I threaten to kill myself because I didn't want to go to school the next morning as I have not learned my dictation. But somehow, I've survived that ordeal and now I give spellings and dictations :)

My parents are not educated, they only completed their Primary School education in Malaysia. Both of them started working since 12. My parents' stories deserve telling and more elaboration some other days. So bottom line is they're not much of a help in terms of academic help, but I remembered having tutors... Perhaps without their help, I wouldn't have 'survive' the education system? But then again, the syllabus was not so intensive then... During my time, it was still Mr Wolee and Mr Yakee...